she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
