When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
