He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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