On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
