batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
