i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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