Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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