Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
