Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize