"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
