Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
