How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
