i will never coherently bang her
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
