Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I have already put on my inside pants.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
