I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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