I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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