The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
