Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
