Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
