Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Small penises have feelings too.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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