i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
