just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
