why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i permit you to call me
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
