I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
