If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
