I'm so fucking centered right now
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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