its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
