How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
