Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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