He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
