He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize