Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
BRING THE BAGELS
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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