Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
