I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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