I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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