The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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