I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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