Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
