Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I did not marry a roomba.
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