i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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