All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
