The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
