So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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