yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
