Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
