im drinking this country out of the recession.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
