party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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