Umm I'm too high to move.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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