Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
