I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
