She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
