you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
