So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
