I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
