Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What changed your mind?
Being sober
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i think my cat just said my name.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
