We're like a lot better than the average bears
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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