And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
