My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
