I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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